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Near Death
Feb 19, 2k4
by CyberWryterCJ
I had to get out. I was stuck inside all week working my ass of so I deserved to get outside and exercise the knee joints. I’ll ignore the pot joke and move on to the meat of the matter.
Fistly, after discovering most addresses I attempted to reach were either non-existent or simply closed. And of course there was the endless MTA Bus problems (See appenDICKSs under "ENDLESS MTA PROBLEMS").
I suppose what makes THAT particular day (evening to be exact) where my days on this sphere nearly came to an abrupt end.
While stopping by the Lodge in NOHO to say "High" to friends, network and pick up business info, I met a "troubled" fellow attempting to understand his sexuality, relationships, and alternative lifestyles in general. What the hell. I had a couple of hours to kill. I can help.
YeahRight,
I KNEW I should have listened to my gut that told me he was full of shit when he INSISTED he was STRAIGHT vanilla…despite the fact he sits with me now in a gay bar discussing his fascination of Transgendered individuals and kinky sex in general. We shall name this fellow, Karl. His thoughts were ahead of his speech, where I sensed a strong stimulating chemical had hold of him He also asked where he could locates some "Powder". Negative, I replied. As I listened, slugging down cola after cola, I counted 2 maybe 3 beers went into Karl. Not bad there. But my gut went unheeded.
Discussion went on for hours till the brothers and sisters came in in hordes for Jazz and R & B. It was getting loud and incoherent so we decided to head to the nearest coffee joint for more "understanding" I called Classy and we bailed.
Traffic was intense at Lankershim and of course we needed to turn left, which was impossible with the endless line of autos on the left reducing visuabilty on the right to zero.
"Just take a right and go around the block. This is impossible." I suggested.
"Look. I know how to drive. Let me drive." He snapped.
"No problem." I said, calmly.
He waited for a gap on and made dash …just missing a car coming from the right. But as we swerved left into the left lane of oncoming cars…one approached us…HEAD ON. However, within that brief nanosecond that screeched through my spinal column, I KNEW that would not be the end of the road…literally.
No. The next best thing (within that genre) lie waiting for us. Because as Karl quickly swerved back into the right lane barely missing a head on collision…with a cop’s car. Fortunately, there was not another auto wishing to occupy the same area and mass as us when we hopped back into the correct direction of traffic. Decades, even millenea passed as endless (and nasty) scenerios ripped through my CPU.
"Fuck, man! You almost hit a cop…HEAD ON."
"I know. I know. What now?" he said.
"Get ready to pull over and uh…prepare for a brief message from the LAPD." I told him as I raised the LA Weekly into the glaring headlights shining through the rear windshield, appearing to read non-chalantly and allowing the officer’s to see both of my hands.
The inevitable cherries from atop the police cruiser blazed up our rear right like a 120mm round hitting a tank at point blank. Karl pulled over and parked at a Hack in the Box. It was at this point my ass was sore from kicking myself for not listening to the gut. The gut was always right was now kicking the ass in the ribs as the LA Pork Fritters were upon us at 6’clock and closing. My head hurt and wanted to go home, far and away from this fast-food joint infecting my wryting.
"You have weed? You better get rid of it. NOW" he said in a quiet panic.
"Listen to me. What I have is misdermeadnor. Whatever YOUR on is a felony. If you want to go home tonight you need to relax and do what say. Ok?" I said in a smile as the officers approached.
"Ok. He answered.
"Classy will never believe this one." I muttered to myself.
After it was over we got a warning despite the fact his car was impoundable for lack of registration. It was rather earlier in the evening and the Oinx must not have had many assholes under his belt yet. Prolly got laid too.
It was now time to call it a day. For now, we’ll call it: Nearly, the last.
I will now thank the Higher Power and all those close to me, warm and protecting, seen and unseen, loud and unspoken, for allowing my journey to continue-at least at THIS particular venue. Thus, allowing this story a better and well deserved ending. I know I speak for others when I say, they thank you too. A definitive reason for proceeding on, I’m finding. I’ll try not to disappoint them or myself. Praise be to all as I walk the path of forever beauty and light. Amen.J
PS...I was cross-dressed at the time. :p
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